March 12th - From my Journal

Be Still....

There is something about taking time to stop that really makes you think. It is probably because unless you stop, all you are really doing is reacting. Reacting to life, reacting to situations, reacting to people.
By taking time to pause each day to think, reflect, and listen; I have found I get more done, I feel better about my days, I listen more to others, and I grow.
The last one is my favorite, GROW. Life can often seen routine, bland, boring, and sometimes worthless. I have found myself, a lot, feeling stuck like I can't grow. What I am realizing is that it is not where I am, it is I was not taking a pause.
I want to make a commitment to myself to stop more. I want to grow, I want to learn, I want a challenge. I want to know God and myself more. I need to stop ad truly listen to my soul.

Lord, in my stillness may I grow to know more fully that you are God and I am not.

March 11th - From my Journal

Why does it seem so hard sometimes to rely on God?

I know I have had times in my life where things did not go how I wanted them to, and I have and do struggle in these times to rely on God.
One time like this was when I tore my ACL along with everything else in my knee. I was being recruited by 200 college and universities for football, and when this happened it really messed up my big recruiting year. Needless to say, many schools stopped recruiting me and I struggled to rely on God's plan. I wondered, why me? I really struggled with not being able to be active like I had been my whole life.
Through it all, and every situation since, I have learned that it is in these times it is those around us that help us rely on God. People praying for us, people relating to us, people being willing to listen to us.
It is through community that we are brought back to the table with God, remembering to trust and rely on Him. I cannot thank all the people who have done this in my life. The only way I can think of is to try to be this type of person with those in my life.
1 Corinthians 12:12-31

Lord, guide me to guide others back to you...

March 10th From my Journal

Worth, Value

These are interesting words. It seems like people have all different ways they find their worth: how much they make, what they own, maybe even how many kids they have. For me, one of the ways I find worth is being able to share with people.
This is the reason my lent commitment to write in my journal everyday have turned into post on my blog what I write on my journal each day. I want to share life with people, discuss topics, hold conversations. The hard part is that a lot of times, I struggle to find worth in this way. Maybe others are too busy, sometimes I'm too busy, sometimes the relationships are just fluff with no depth.
One of the things God is teaching me through this journal is that in the end, when all else is stripped away, the one place I need to find and will find my worth in is Him.
People have all different ways they find their worth; I want mine to be in God.

"For You have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb
I will ever praise you!"
-Psalm 71:5-6

March 9th - From my Journal

I really don't like pushy Evangelists...

I guess the real reason behind it is because I feel like they have an agenda to get me and others saved so they can feel good about how great a Christian they are. First off, having an agenda means your focus is not about the relationship or the journey, but they are focused on the end goal.

I believe God is LOVE. Not a romantic guy/girl love, but a true unconditional love. What this means first is that it must be about relationships. Love cannot exist out in the middle of no where, but must exist between: between humans, between God and mankind, between God and God's self, that is why God is a trinity.

As Christians, we are to exemplify this Love to the world, the only way to do that is relationships. The only way to have real, true, deep relationships is to take time, effort, and honesty it needs to exist. When we make these efforts, we find it is so simple to share our faith we know who they are and we can relate with them.

God showed this so well with Christ. He became flesh and dwelt among us so that He could truly relate to our situation, and so that we could no longer use "you don't know" as an excuse.

To many people are turned off from being a Christian by evangelist who don't and aren't willing to get to know someone good enough so they can no longer say "you don't know."

Evangelism is not and should never be a way of life where you walk so closely with God that people cannot help but draw near to God. The way it should work is that people who you have relationships with, friends, students, kids, adults,etc. cannot help but learn about God, not by words but by your life, and in doing so they grow to better know God.

"Share Christ with everyone you meet, when necessary use words." - St. Francis

1 Corinthians 13 (parts)
"Love never gives up
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head
DOESN'T FORCE ITSELF ON OTHERS
Isn't always "me first"...
...puts up with anything
Trusts God always
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies!"

Lord teach me to be this love.

March 8th - From my Journal

March 7th - From my Journal

I love how people are unique. Today I spent a great day with Joanna. During the day I was reminded of some of the ways we are different.

Joanna is very motivated, this includes things from the largest to smallest tasks. We got up today and had a list of things to do; Joanna's mission was to finish that list. She also has this internal thing telling her to go..go..go..go..go..all the time.

For me, I don't really know if I have ever made a list; let alone felt compelled to complete it. Also, unless there is a pressing need for something to get done, I usually won't worry to much about getting around to it.

Today, these to sides met, which is something that happens a lot. In the end, we were able to hang out with each other a lot, and the whole list was completed!

I know I have already learned a lot about and from Joanna. I am now more motivated at keeping things in order and finishing things as son as I can. I think she has learned from me that it is OK to chill and relax every once in a while.

I believe we can learn a lot about ourselves by looking at other people. We are all unique and have something unique to offer.

Lord, teach me to appreciate everyone in my life.